The last couple of weeks have been a rough ones for me. I have been struggling in my faith and very angry with God...Or at least the situation at the moment. I received news that I knew would be coming sooner or later, but still rocked my world. For the last two plus years I have been holding onto hope that God would move this really big mountain in my life. This mountain was keeping someone I loved a lot out of my life and the only way to have this person back was if God were to move the "mountain" between us.
However, the hope I had of this happening was lost a few weeks ago. At first I was in shock and numb to any emotions that had to do with this situation. After, a few days I became really angry. At first I didn't realize I was angry about it or that I was angry with God about it. Once I did come to this realization I had two options. Sit in my anger and pout or move forward with God and heal from it all. Lets just say I spent a few days pouting.
I knew what I was feeling were the different stages of grief that come with a death or a loss. However, I didn't know when or where I would move from anger to grief to acceptance. God did though and He was with me ever step of the way even though I wasn't ready to talk to Him yet.
One morning I was listening to Pandora Radio when a song came on that helped me to hear from God. In the mist of the song God broke the chains of anger that were holding me down. I sat in my car and cried at the loss of my loved one, loss of hope for his return, and the loss of a future together. I was overcome with emotion and it felt amazing to release the anger that had been building up inside of me.
Here are the Lyrics
By Your Side
By Tenth Ave North
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
Amazing.....Right! I never turned away from God even when I was extremely angry. Instead I actually turned towards Him. See God wants nothing more then a relationship with us. If I had pretending like everything was ok, God already knew that it wasn't. By me expressing my feelings and hurt in prayer, He was able to continue to Love me and draw near to me. He was by my side the entire time. His love is unfailing and unconditional. If you are ever struggling with being angry about a situation in your life that is unfair or hurtful...read these lyrics out loud and know that God is by your side. He will never let you go and He loves you more then anything. Stay obedient to Him and He will bless you even if the blessing doesn't have that really big mountain moved for you. In His Love,SarahlynnThis Blog is dedicated to Wesley and Ashley...may your engagement and marriage be filled with God in every way. May He bring you two more blessings then you could ever imagine and may your life together be light into the World.
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
Amazing.....Right! I never turned away from God even when I was extremely angry. Instead I actually turned towards Him. See God wants nothing more then a relationship with us. If I had pretending like everything was ok, God already knew that it wasn't. By me expressing my feelings and hurt in prayer, He was able to continue to Love me and draw near to me. He was by my side the entire time. His love is unfailing and unconditional. If you are ever struggling with being angry about a situation in your life that is unfair or hurtful...read these lyrics out loud and know that God is by your side. He will never let you go and He loves you more then anything. Stay obedient to Him and He will bless you even if the blessing doesn't have that really big mountain moved for you. In His Love,SarahlynnThis Blog is dedicated to Wesley and Ashley...may your engagement and marriage be filled with God in every way. May He bring you two more blessings then you could ever imagine and may your life together be light into the World.
