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I am often asked if I want more kids "someday", you know when I meet my husband and get married. My reply is always I will cross that bridge when it comes, but if my husband is ok with my two blessings, then I am ok with no more kids. I am blessed with 2 beautiful children. They are smart, kind, loving and simply put amazing! I have been truly blessed to be called Mom the last 11 years. Which leads me into where God has been working in my heart lately.....
Maternal Clock (biological clock) vs. Manternal Clock (Husband Clock)
Woman especially are know for having a maternal clock that starts ticking about age 30...that strong desire to be a mother, a caregiver and so on..... I have always joked that I don't have one because I already have kids. What I didn't realize is that I do have one its just a Manternal Clock (a desire for a husband) and its a ticking!!!!!!
As I reach age 35 my strong desire to be a wife is creeping up on me and I am not prepared! I have spent many moons praying, asking, seeking, for answers from God as to why I am still single. He has finally answered loud and clear and over and over again. I mean if I did not get the message the first time He made sure to send me 50 more messages!
Here is just a few of the things He has told me.....
Sarah ....you are not ready, your heart is not in order, your heart has not healed, you deserve the BEST, you are precious to Me, you are My child, you are deserving, you are beautiful, the one I have isn't ready for you, TRUST ME MY TIMING IS NEVER WRONG!
I could give you countless stories of how He has spoken this to me through songs, friends, family, my Pastor, my Therapist and complete strangers lately. Ill give you the one from my Pastor...this past Sunday was Mother's day and I was asked to aid the Speaker for church that day, which is a great honor and privileged to do; and also means you have to sit in the front row and be on time for church (something I need to work on).
My Pastor was making announcements like usual and was excited to tell us all that we finally closed on a permanent church location. He went on to talk about how we have been in negotiations for this building for 1.5 years and that at one point we as a church had walked away from that location as a possibility at all. However, my Pastor still felt strongly that this was to be our new home....so he would spend countless hours driving around the building praying that God would move the Mountains and Part the Waters for us, if it was in fact His Will. In March of this year they contacted our church and said they were willing to talk numbers. June 2016 we will be in our new House of Worship!!!!!
Here is where God said.....SARAH listen.
June 2013 was when we moved into our temporary location...a place where every week we unpack and repack our stuff, because we meet in a school cafeteria. One and half years ago we were ready to move out and God said No...you aren't ready, you aren't prepared TRUST ME MY TIMING IS NEVER WRONG!
3 years to the date we will be moving into our new home....3 years of preparing, 3 years of praying, seeking, asking and faithfulness to His Word. My Pastor finished by saying "someone here needs to hear this ....whatever it is that you are waiting on; God says...you are not ready...His timing is Perfect!
It was in that moment that it hit me like a ton of bricks my Manternal Clock was consuming me, and I was exhausted. See as much as I have a strong desire to be a wife. I have an even stronger desire to follow the Lord in all walks of life. So, in that moment I laid my desires of my heart down at the Cross and walked away. Because if that day ever comes when I become a wife I want to be ready, I want to be prepared, I want to have my heart open to love without fear or regret.
So, whatever clock that is inside of you ticking away...Career, Babies, Spouse, Financial, and so on.... don't let it consume you and steal your joy.....TRUST ME GOD'S TIMING IS NEVER WRONG! Lay it down at the foot of the Cross and give it over to the Lord. Let Him hold onto your clock.....
This Song is a great example of what I have been feeling ever since Mother's Day....My prayer for you is that it will touch your heart and help you heal too. May you always remember you are Loved and Cherished by our Heavenly Father and He wants nothing more then to give you the very best...when His Timing is Right!
The Bible says "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:24
Lord prepare me for this day, and for this responsibility.
God Bless,
Sarah
